A New Home for Elmer
Aug. 13th, 2025 08:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shannon_aSo it looks like we are sending one of our beloved orangies, Elmer, to a new home. In Boston of all places.
The reason is pretty simple: though he's terrific with people, a real cuddle-butt who lounges all over me and my laptop whenever I go down to my office in the morning, he's really bad with other cats. And we have two other cats.
When he and Mango were little kits, they'd often wrassle, and we were shocked how often Elmer got the better of his bigger brother. (And I'm pretty sure Elmer was the runt of the litter; he was definitely much smaller than Mango when we got him.)
And he'd bully Lucy too. Running wildly at her, though she'd usually stand her ground and growl and hiss at him. (But sometimes she fled.)
When Mango and Elmer hit a couple of years old, we'd occasionally hear cat fights. Well, that is we'd hear Mango growling and yelping and sometimes see him come running. But it wasn't bad enough that we thought Elmer was a threat or anything. _Boys will be boys_ as the bad-behavior-excusing saying goes.
But after we got Megara into the house, we realized it was a bigger problem. Elmer interacted with her pretty well the first time or two he saw her, and then he started chasing her. Whenever he saw her, tackling her and attacking her if he could.
Hence the coming of the gate. Elmer liked to spend 98% of his time downstairs anyway, while Megara's home base was our (upstairs) bed room. So we had our wonderful carpenter Wayne build a gate at the top of the stairs, with the hope that Mango could jump it and visit with his brother whenever he wanted, but that the heftier Elmer would not be able to, and so the upstairs would be Elmer-free for Megara. It took Mango a few weeks to be willing to take the scary jump down the stairs, but as soon as that happened, everything seemed pretty well.
A few weeks ago, we even started to get comfortable with the fact that Elmer probably wasn't going to be able to jump the gate ever. We've long kept Megara in our bedroom at night, but a night or two we experimented with leaving her out and about (though one of those, Elmer woke us up yowling at the gate at 5am or 6am, since it had usually been open at night).
Oh, the situation was still somewhat stressful, primarily in managing a transition if Elmer wanted to come upstairs, because a year on we still can't pick up Megara to move her. So there was careful herding of her into the bedroom, and Megara often being scared as a result. Or else we'd let Elmer up, but only into our bedroom because Megara wasn't there. (And he got away during a few of those transitions, one time scaring some guests who were over gaming, another time assaulting Megara.)
But that just would have been how things went, as we have a responsibility to all three of these cats.
Until two or three weeks ago, when we noticed that Mango had a huge clump of fur missing from right at his throat and a big nasty bloody scab there. And yes, we have seen Elmer go for the throats of the other cats.
(I should note, I'm pretty sure this is all play for Elmer, or all instinct, but it's not malicious. He definitely likes his brother. He's definitely interested in Megara. He just thinks its fun to chase them and pin them down and _get_ them.)
At that point, it wasn't a choice between the newer cat (Megara) and one of our older cats (Elmer). It was a recognition that even if Elmer was a great people cat (and he is! he's a sweetie!), he didn't belong in a multi-cat household, because he was definitely a danger to those other cats.
Kimberly and I absolutely would not give up one of our cats unless we had a good home for them. Heck, I was literally started to sketch out plans about how put in some walls and a door downstairs to more definitively split the house in two, so that Mango couldn't go visiting his brother (and getting hurt), and so that Elmer had no chance of getting up into the upstairs with Megara.
But we also started putting out word that we were looking for a new home for Elmer.
I frankly didn't think it was going to be possible to find one, since we needed a cat lover that didn't have a cat!
One of my old gaming friends came to the rescue with a recommendation to talk to a friend of hers. They were planning to adopt a cat next month, and they are now going to take Elmer. They're in Boston, but there are people who take care of that sort of thing.
So Kimberly found a service that will get Elmer from here to Boston, hopefully straight to the house of the adopter. He'll get one layover, and though I hate for him to have nine or ten hours of plane rides, that means he'll get to rest, recover, eat, and take care of business in between.
Kimberly also scheduled a vet appointment for Elmer for Friday. We'll confirm his microchip (just to make sure we don't have the boys confused) and get him a rabies shot (necessary for the trip, even though the islands are rabies-free) and get him any other vaccinations that our vet thinks he should have before he's out and about.
(Ironically, we also have a vet appointment for Mango for Monday, for them to look at his injury, but I think it's been healing well.)
And once we've done that, Kimberly will have everything she needs to make reservations with a service.
We expect that we'll be sending him off in about four weeks (and we'll need one more vet appointment toward the end of that to get him his traveling papers and anything else the service says are needed, but we want to get the vaccinations early enough to make sure they've fully taken effect before he flies).
Kimberly has been the one talking with the adopter, and he seems very nice. He was asking to make sure he could get the right food that Elmer is used to and talking about getting a cat tree for him.
But still, I hate to send Elmer away. I don't want renege on our promise to him, and my fear would be that he ends up not taken care of. Not that there's anything to warrant that fear, as I trust my gaming friend's judgement as well as Kimberly's. But that's my fear because that's what would be truly terrible.
But the point is to make life better for everyone. Kimberly and I will be less stressed. Mango and Megara will (frankly) be less endangered. And hopefully Elmer will get more attention and not be confined to the part of the house that only has people in it (for the most part) during the work day.
Ultimately, I have to have my best faith that everything will go well. In the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy my time with Elmer as much as possible while he's still here.
The reason is pretty simple: though he's terrific with people, a real cuddle-butt who lounges all over me and my laptop whenever I go down to my office in the morning, he's really bad with other cats. And we have two other cats.
When he and Mango were little kits, they'd often wrassle, and we were shocked how often Elmer got the better of his bigger brother. (And I'm pretty sure Elmer was the runt of the litter; he was definitely much smaller than Mango when we got him.)
And he'd bully Lucy too. Running wildly at her, though she'd usually stand her ground and growl and hiss at him. (But sometimes she fled.)
When Mango and Elmer hit a couple of years old, we'd occasionally hear cat fights. Well, that is we'd hear Mango growling and yelping and sometimes see him come running. But it wasn't bad enough that we thought Elmer was a threat or anything. _Boys will be boys_ as the bad-behavior-excusing saying goes.
But after we got Megara into the house, we realized it was a bigger problem. Elmer interacted with her pretty well the first time or two he saw her, and then he started chasing her. Whenever he saw her, tackling her and attacking her if he could.
Hence the coming of the gate. Elmer liked to spend 98% of his time downstairs anyway, while Megara's home base was our (upstairs) bed room. So we had our wonderful carpenter Wayne build a gate at the top of the stairs, with the hope that Mango could jump it and visit with his brother whenever he wanted, but that the heftier Elmer would not be able to, and so the upstairs would be Elmer-free for Megara. It took Mango a few weeks to be willing to take the scary jump down the stairs, but as soon as that happened, everything seemed pretty well.
A few weeks ago, we even started to get comfortable with the fact that Elmer probably wasn't going to be able to jump the gate ever. We've long kept Megara in our bedroom at night, but a night or two we experimented with leaving her out and about (though one of those, Elmer woke us up yowling at the gate at 5am or 6am, since it had usually been open at night).
Oh, the situation was still somewhat stressful, primarily in managing a transition if Elmer wanted to come upstairs, because a year on we still can't pick up Megara to move her. So there was careful herding of her into the bedroom, and Megara often being scared as a result. Or else we'd let Elmer up, but only into our bedroom because Megara wasn't there. (And he got away during a few of those transitions, one time scaring some guests who were over gaming, another time assaulting Megara.)
But that just would have been how things went, as we have a responsibility to all three of these cats.
Until two or three weeks ago, when we noticed that Mango had a huge clump of fur missing from right at his throat and a big nasty bloody scab there. And yes, we have seen Elmer go for the throats of the other cats.
(I should note, I'm pretty sure this is all play for Elmer, or all instinct, but it's not malicious. He definitely likes his brother. He's definitely interested in Megara. He just thinks its fun to chase them and pin them down and _get_ them.)
At that point, it wasn't a choice between the newer cat (Megara) and one of our older cats (Elmer). It was a recognition that even if Elmer was a great people cat (and he is! he's a sweetie!), he didn't belong in a multi-cat household, because he was definitely a danger to those other cats.
Kimberly and I absolutely would not give up one of our cats unless we had a good home for them. Heck, I was literally started to sketch out plans about how put in some walls and a door downstairs to more definitively split the house in two, so that Mango couldn't go visiting his brother (and getting hurt), and so that Elmer had no chance of getting up into the upstairs with Megara.
But we also started putting out word that we were looking for a new home for Elmer.
I frankly didn't think it was going to be possible to find one, since we needed a cat lover that didn't have a cat!
One of my old gaming friends came to the rescue with a recommendation to talk to a friend of hers. They were planning to adopt a cat next month, and they are now going to take Elmer. They're in Boston, but there are people who take care of that sort of thing.
So Kimberly found a service that will get Elmer from here to Boston, hopefully straight to the house of the adopter. He'll get one layover, and though I hate for him to have nine or ten hours of plane rides, that means he'll get to rest, recover, eat, and take care of business in between.
Kimberly also scheduled a vet appointment for Elmer for Friday. We'll confirm his microchip (just to make sure we don't have the boys confused) and get him a rabies shot (necessary for the trip, even though the islands are rabies-free) and get him any other vaccinations that our vet thinks he should have before he's out and about.
(Ironically, we also have a vet appointment for Mango for Monday, for them to look at his injury, but I think it's been healing well.)
And once we've done that, Kimberly will have everything she needs to make reservations with a service.
We expect that we'll be sending him off in about four weeks (and we'll need one more vet appointment toward the end of that to get him his traveling papers and anything else the service says are needed, but we want to get the vaccinations early enough to make sure they've fully taken effect before he flies).
Kimberly has been the one talking with the adopter, and he seems very nice. He was asking to make sure he could get the right food that Elmer is used to and talking about getting a cat tree for him.
But still, I hate to send Elmer away. I don't want renege on our promise to him, and my fear would be that he ends up not taken care of. Not that there's anything to warrant that fear, as I trust my gaming friend's judgement as well as Kimberly's. But that's my fear because that's what would be truly terrible.
But the point is to make life better for everyone. Kimberly and I will be less stressed. Mango and Megara will (frankly) be less endangered. And hopefully Elmer will get more attention and not be confined to the part of the house that only has people in it (for the most part) during the work day.
Ultimately, I have to have my best faith that everything will go well. In the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy my time with Elmer as much as possible while he's still here.
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Date: 2025-08-14 02:59 pm (UTC)A New Home for Elmer
Date: 2025-08-14 06:31 pm (UTC)