In Which The Days Are Gray
Mar. 31st, 2020 07:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shannon_aThis is hard.
It's not the sheltering in place. That's fine.
But instead it's the bleak uncertainty.
It's the day-to-day grayness as we're denied the interactions that bring us joy in life.
It's the feeling that we're living in a police state, that any departure from our house, no matter how legitimate and allowed, might be met with a martial presence.
I awoke this morning, and I thought "Still under shelter-in-place, with no end in sight". And it felt bleak.
I've got so much work that I could be doing. I've got some Mechanics & Meeples lined up for writing (they're all partially finished in fact). And, I'm ready to dive back into Designers & Dragons for my product histories project that got put on hold about a year ago, when our move started really ramping up.
But it's really hard to get the gumption to go in the evening, after I've already put in a day of work for Skotos.
And when everything's so gray.
So I've been reading a fair amount. A little little literature (current The Dream Quest of Vellitt Boe), quite a few comics. And too much news. (I need to just stop reading the news.)
Ah, Skotos. The plan was for today to be my last day of full-time work, but that alas has not happened.
I'm certainly working less efficiently during this pandemic. But I am getting good coding in every day. There's just a lot to do. I'm getting close to a first-cut of a complete "thin auth" server from Skotos, but the difference between a first-cut and a final release can be monumental.
So I told Chris I was willing to give Skotos a few more weeks of my time, because I really am intent on leaving things in good order.
So the next few weeks, I do a few days of work on the Skotos and RPGnet code (Monday to Wednesday is the plan), and I give Chris a little work on Blockchain Commons (Thursday is the plan), and I start taking Fridays off, hopefully to do my own writing.
It seemed like a good compromise, and I'm not particularly upset about it, given the worrying state of the world. The coding gives me something to occupy myself with, that I can genuinely focus on.
One of the problems with the shelter-in-place here in Kauai is that it's coincided with a few weeks of gray, wet weather. I mean, that's ironic, because I wouldn't be out much anyway, because of the weather. But somehow it layers the feeling of claustrophobia. Because it's gray physically and psychically.
That gray faded back just enough for me to cut the lawn yesterday (well, other than the evil hillside, but I don't trust my knee on the hillside currently). Though I decided I was done when it started drizzling again.
But today it was the high 70s when I was done with my Skotos work and looking pretty sunny, so I headed out to Poipu for my legally permitted swimming.
I expected the beach to be emptier than I'd ever seen it, and it was. But there were somewhat surprisingly two or three dozen sunbathers and beachsitters, who are definitely not allowed by the shelter-in-place order. The timeshares right there by Poipu seemed the most likely culprit. It was very disappointing to discover that even while we're getting really fascist police intrusions like traffic stops blocking up our highway, they're not doing anything about people just blatantly lounging on the beach.
In any case, I swam, and afterward I walked down to the Sheraton and back, a beloved walk from when Kimberly and I stayed here way back in 2001 (though it's changed a lot, as some of that beachfront was still filled with ruined buildings from Iniki when we first visited).
The Sheraton had quite a few beachside people too (even though the Sheraton is closed). It also had quite a few surfers (another legally allowed activity). I enjoyed watching them for a bit (though not too long, as surf-gawking is not a legally allowed exercise).
So, maybe getting out to the beach will help a bit, and I did get some steps and some swimming yards (though I haven't actually hit my step goal in over a week).
But this problem still seems like it's going to stretch on ... forever.
It's not the sheltering in place. That's fine.
But instead it's the bleak uncertainty.
It's the day-to-day grayness as we're denied the interactions that bring us joy in life.
It's the feeling that we're living in a police state, that any departure from our house, no matter how legitimate and allowed, might be met with a martial presence.
I awoke this morning, and I thought "Still under shelter-in-place, with no end in sight". And it felt bleak.
I've got so much work that I could be doing. I've got some Mechanics & Meeples lined up for writing (they're all partially finished in fact). And, I'm ready to dive back into Designers & Dragons for my product histories project that got put on hold about a year ago, when our move started really ramping up.
But it's really hard to get the gumption to go in the evening, after I've already put in a day of work for Skotos.
And when everything's so gray.
So I've been reading a fair amount. A little little literature (current The Dream Quest of Vellitt Boe), quite a few comics. And too much news. (I need to just stop reading the news.)
Ah, Skotos. The plan was for today to be my last day of full-time work, but that alas has not happened.
I'm certainly working less efficiently during this pandemic. But I am getting good coding in every day. There's just a lot to do. I'm getting close to a first-cut of a complete "thin auth" server from Skotos, but the difference between a first-cut and a final release can be monumental.
So I told Chris I was willing to give Skotos a few more weeks of my time, because I really am intent on leaving things in good order.
So the next few weeks, I do a few days of work on the Skotos and RPGnet code (Monday to Wednesday is the plan), and I give Chris a little work on Blockchain Commons (Thursday is the plan), and I start taking Fridays off, hopefully to do my own writing.
It seemed like a good compromise, and I'm not particularly upset about it, given the worrying state of the world. The coding gives me something to occupy myself with, that I can genuinely focus on.
One of the problems with the shelter-in-place here in Kauai is that it's coincided with a few weeks of gray, wet weather. I mean, that's ironic, because I wouldn't be out much anyway, because of the weather. But somehow it layers the feeling of claustrophobia. Because it's gray physically and psychically.
That gray faded back just enough for me to cut the lawn yesterday (well, other than the evil hillside, but I don't trust my knee on the hillside currently). Though I decided I was done when it started drizzling again.
But today it was the high 70s when I was done with my Skotos work and looking pretty sunny, so I headed out to Poipu for my legally permitted swimming.
I expected the beach to be emptier than I'd ever seen it, and it was. But there were somewhat surprisingly two or three dozen sunbathers and beachsitters, who are definitely not allowed by the shelter-in-place order. The timeshares right there by Poipu seemed the most likely culprit. It was very disappointing to discover that even while we're getting really fascist police intrusions like traffic stops blocking up our highway, they're not doing anything about people just blatantly lounging on the beach.
In any case, I swam, and afterward I walked down to the Sheraton and back, a beloved walk from when Kimberly and I stayed here way back in 2001 (though it's changed a lot, as some of that beachfront was still filled with ruined buildings from Iniki when we first visited).
The Sheraton had quite a few beachside people too (even though the Sheraton is closed). It also had quite a few surfers (another legally allowed activity). I enjoyed watching them for a bit (though not too long, as surf-gawking is not a legally allowed exercise).
So, maybe getting out to the beach will help a bit, and I did get some steps and some swimming yards (though I haven't actually hit my step goal in over a week).
But this problem still seems like it's going to stretch on ... forever.