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The White House Sitcom
Sep. 3rd, 2008 12:33 pmI just can't help but seeing the Republican ticket as a big sitcom now that includes Palin, and I can't help but be bitter about McCain turning our political system into a farce as part of a Hail Mary to win this election.
Sometimes I think it's about trying to pull the wool over the whole country's eyes ...
HE'S an aristocratic Washington insider with 11 houses. SHE'S a gun-toting, moose-burger-eating hockey mom. CAN he teach her the ways of Washington ... and high society ... before the Inauguration Waltz?
But then I see these ridiculous pictures of Grandpa McCain greeting Palin's daughter and the boy they're trying to make marry her at the airport, and the near 50-year age difference is obvious. At which point I can imagine a different sort of comedy in the Oval Office, with three generations of family all involved in the discussions ...
They're the ultimate dysfunctional American family! GRAMPA, the ever-dozing war hero! MA, the quiet power behind the throne! PA, the beer-swilling, secession-preaching radical! BRISTOL, the studious bookworm who got into more trouble than she could ever imagine! LEVI, the devil-may-care hockey player. And introducing ... TRIG!
(Yes, those quotes are altered from Pygmalion and The Simpsons.)
Sometimes I think it's about trying to pull the wool over the whole country's eyes ...
HE'S an aristocratic Washington insider with 11 houses. SHE'S a gun-toting, moose-burger-eating hockey mom. CAN he teach her the ways of Washington ... and high society ... before the Inauguration Waltz?
CINDY MCCAIN: Will it rain, do you think?
SARAH PALIN: The shallow depression in the west of these islands is likely to move slowly in an easterly direction. There are no indications of any great change in the barometrical situation.
JOE LIEBERMAN: Ha! ha! how awfully funny!
SARAH PALIN: What is wrong with that, young man? I bet I got it right.
But then I see these ridiculous pictures of Grandpa McCain greeting Palin's daughter and the boy they're trying to make marry her at the airport, and the near 50-year age difference is obvious. At which point I can imagine a different sort of comedy in the Oval Office, with three generations of family all involved in the discussions ...
They're the ultimate dysfunctional American family! GRAMPA, the ever-dozing war hero! MA, the quiet power behind the throne! PA, the beer-swilling, secession-preaching radical! BRISTOL, the studious bookworm who got into more trouble than she could ever imagine! LEVI, the devil-may-care hockey player. And introducing ... TRIG!
JOHN MCCAIN: This time we went over to Shelbyville during the war, I wore an onion on my belt... which was the style at the time ...
SARAH PALIN (ignoring Gramps, as usual, and talking to her husband): You sound like you're going to buy a pony. Promise me you won't.
TODD PALIN: Mmm.
SARAH PALIN: What was that? Was that a yes or a no?
JOHN MCCAIN: You couldn't get those white ones, you could only get those big yellow ones...
TODD PALIN: Buh.
SARAH PALIN: Those aren't even words! Where would you keep a pony!?
TODD PALIN: By day the pony will roam free around the streets of Washington D.C. and by night, he'll nestle snugly between the desks in the Oval Office.
BRISTOL: Dad, no!
SARAH PALIN: That's illegal!
TODD PALIN: That's for the courts to decide! And gramps'll put that right, huh?
JOHN MCCAIN (delighted at being acknowledged): Now where was I ... Oh yeah, the important thing was I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time ...
LEVI: Ay Carumba!
(Yes, those quotes are altered from Pygmalion and The Simpsons.)